The First Month

The first month with Al has filled me with joy, self-doubt, fatigue, love, confusion, and confidence.  We are SLOWLY falling into patterns that suit all three of us (at least until I go back to work).  At this point, I can usually soothe Al when he's crying, but find it more difficult to let him "cry it out" when needed.   It's hard - I underestimated how hard it would be - but I love it.

The first few days I was enamored with Mark and Al.  Truly, they were both perfect.  Since then, we've each hit our "bumps."  Luckily, Mark can tell when I'm at my breaking point and comes to the rescue...and I try to do the same with him.  Have we exchanged a few ugly words?  Sure, but we're working on underlying issues and practicing the art of forgiveness (Mark is good at this, as I can say some pretty mean things during tense moments).

Levon has adjusted well, as I assumed he would.  He's mostly just curious and smells Al as much as possible.  He has been getting less attention, but he's never required a lot and enjoys doing his own thing.  If anything, I think this will work in his favor since we will probably put up a fence...finally.

Living in the same city as our families has been amazing.  Mark's mom helped me clean the house one day (though, you wouldn't be able to tell now) and kept Al so Mark and I could go to Bree's shower.
My mom comes over most days to visit or let me out of the house.  It's amazing!  She LOVES Al, and I'm pretty sure she's already his favorite person.

I've also been blessed by some great friends, who have made us dinner, brought gifts, and visited Al and me numerous times.  It's hard spending most of your day meeting the demands of someone else, who can't speak.  But my friends have helped me stay positive and have encouraged me to get out of the house some.  And, they are even thinking about us when we aren't with them.

Some people ask how I spend most of my days right now.  I'd say that this picture is a pretty accurate portrayal:

But we've also been to see both grandparents, Brookwood Mall, Panera, Krispy Kreme, and numerous walks.

I only have 2 1/2 weeks left of my maternity leave, and I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with this guy:

Mark Allan Pridgen, Jr.

On December 22 around 3:45pm, Mark and I were getting ready to brave the holiday crowds at the Summit to look for a new bed at Pottery Barn.  I went to the restroom before we left, and pop!  Was that my water?  I had "false alarms" before, but this had to be the real thing.  I called my doctor and she told me to go ahead and come in.  I snuck in a quick shower and sent Mark to the grocery store - I had heard that you can't eat before delivery and might not be able to find anything decent for hours after either.

We calmly packed our bags and I got in the car while Mark took our dog, Levon, on a quick walk.  Then...chaos - Mark returned from their outing with an empty leash and said "This is Bad."  Yep, Levon wrapped himself around a tree and wiggled out of his collar.  Bad timing, Levon.  Luckily, I was able to head-off Levon in the car while Mark chased him on foot...only losing about 15 minutes.

Once we got to the hospital, I had a pretty "by the book" delivery, so there's no need for details.  Just this beautiful face staring at me at 3:19am on December 23:

8lbs & 2ozs of perfection!  Welcome to the world, Mark Allan "Al" Pridgen, Jr.

Waiting is the hardest part...

I've decide that doctors should not use words like "full term."  At 37 weeks, I finally feel 100% justified in my uncomfortable-ness.  Which means: my sense of decency has gone out the door.  I feel like I should be able to get away with murder...or at least this:

Yes, sadly this is me at work.  In a corporate office.  Where men wear suits and ties and women are often seen in dresses.  Worse than that, I'm not even embarrassed.

This week I went to the doctor and found out some amazing news...baby Pridgen is head down and weighs (give or take) 6lb 13oz.  He is pretty much ready.  Thank goodness!  And I definitely look like I'm about to pop:

I love this picture!  Mark's coworkers had a lunch shower for us last week at the art museum.  Bonus: my friend, Bree's, dad works there.  He snapped my picture to send to Bree, then took me on a personal tour of the Normal Rockwell exhibit after my lunch.  

I'm almost where I want to be at work (so no one gets left with my unfinished projects).  And the nursery is complete, minus wall decor.  We lack a baby bath tub, but should have all the other necessities.  Hear that, baby Al?  It's time!

Another "Hunger Games"

Last month, I forced myself to listen to (why does it make me feel guilty that I have to use the word "listen" instead of "read"?) "Divergent" by Veronica Roth, at the request of my book club.
I would say that it was a waste of time, but I was mostly in my car traveling back and forth to work.  And, maybe it was better for me (and the baby) than the rap songs I usually blare from my iPod...I know, I'm so gangsta.  So I will say that I just didn't enjoy it.  Why?
Well, let me back-up a little.  I really enjoyed the "Hunger Games" books and was told this was similar.  Was it?  Yes...too similar.  But in a lackluster kind of way.  Similar female character, but I couldn't identify with her.  Attractive love interest, but he didn't ignite the same kind of feelings as Peeta (or even Gale).  It just...wasn't quite...there.
In fairness, I was one of the few people who felt this way.  Maybe my expectations were too high.  If I've lowered yours enough, feel free to give it a try.

One Year Ago, The Time in Between, & Today

One Year Ago:

One year ago yesterday, I left the gym in a panic after seeing signs of a miscarriage.  I called my doctor on the way home, and she helped me make an appointment to check on everything in the morning.  When Mark got home I explained the situation, and he comforted me as I mourned the life I was already sure we had lost.

The next morning, a silent ultrasound confirmed what I suspected...at 10 weeks, we had lost our future child/little girl/fetus/embryo - it's hard to find the right word(s).  I elected to have a D&C surgery that afternoon and was sent home that evening.

It was weird having everything "taken care of" in less than 24 hours and was difficult to deal with the emotions of losing something I never really had but so desperately wanted.


The Time in Between:

The time in between that day and today hasn't been perfect.  I haven't been perfect.  I watched other people get pregnant and deliver healthy babies.  I thought of some of the mothers as "deserving" for various reasons...perhaps they had trouble getting pregnant or had suffered their own miscarriages.  It was the other group that I struggled with...the "oops" group and the "that was easy" group.

When my sister, Valerie, fell into the "that was easy" group, it hurt my heart.  But when my mom told me that Valerie was nervous to tell me she was pregnant, I realized that I wasn't the only person hurting.  I knew my sister felt almost guilty and didn't want to cause me anymore pain.  Her selflessness helped me realized how deserving she was, along with the other moms who loved their children whether they came easily or not.


Today:

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for a 33 week appointment.  Everything seems to be progressing well, and our little one is expected to be here on Christmas Day (though, I wouldn't mind if he picked another day)

I also spent the day with my new nephew, James.  He's a beautiful baby and I feel so much love whenever I'm around him.

 








It's incredible the difference a year can make.

Pregnancy Grammar

As this pregnancy begins to take over my brain, I've discovered that I no longer know the difference between:

-No & Know
-Too, To & Two
-Think & Thank
-Poll & Pole (which can be important if you work with electrical poles)
-There, They're, & Their

Also, I like to add letters to my words.  Maybe a "d" on the end, even when I'm speaking in present tense.  Or an "ly" just for fun.

Grammar friends, bare with me...and please keep reading my blog (which, let's be honest, has never been known for its grammar).

Showered (Part Deux)

This past weekend, some of my best friends got together to throw a shower for me.  One of my favorite things...they each picked-out a onesie for baby Al and I had to guess which one was from whom:

As you can see, there are a lot of Alabama Fans in this group, and they know what will make mom and dad happy! 

And here I am with my hostesses (minus Bree & Carrie who live out-of-town).  I just think my friends are the cutest!  And poor Valerie was running around like a crazy person at 9 months pregnant!

The sweet pillow was a surprise from my mom and will match the bedding for the nursery.

Also, my sweet friends/hostesses got me the baby carrier that I had been coveting.  I'll have to get a picture of Mark modeling it once Al get here, but for now you can see it on the actual model:

Isn't it great?  The baby can face in (as shown), out, or even piggie-back style.  I can't wait to use it!  And really, it was a perfect gift from them, as it'll probably help me get out of the house more to see them post baby.

Thanks ladies!  Now I am (almost) ready to be a mom...such a crazy concept still.