Half a year as a Mom

I had no doubts that I would love being a mother.  I grew-up babysitting, working in the church nursery, and spending my summers as a camp counselor.  And while having your own INFANT is harder than watching someone else's KIDS, being a mother has exceeded every expectation I had...so far (don't worry, I'm aware of the fact that I have yet to experience potty training, temper tantrums, sibling rivalries, and worse).

These past 3 months have been VERY different from the first 3 months...

Gone are the days of being Al's sole source of food.  I breastfed for 4 months, patted myself on the back for making it THAT long, and switched to formula.  Did I feel guilty?  Definitely.  Moms today are being defined by how long they breastfeed, and it's hard to argue with the health benefits (for both mom and baby).  But guilt is my new normal.  And I'm choosing to not let my life be defined by something so simple.  The trade-off: Al has a happier mom.  Double win: Al can now hold his own bottle.

Tummy time no longer results in meltdowns.  Al will officially push-up on his arms and roll from his stomach to his back...sometimes.  While this progress is months behind some babies, he's a rock-star in my book.

We sleep.  All three of us.  And I don't take one of those nights for granted, because I know a lot of moms still aren't (and I probably won't be with baby number 2).  Al goes to bed at 7:30 and Mark & I go to bed at 9:30...because you never know when you WILL be up at 3am.  Side Note: 3am always results in a little Matchbox 20 sanity song*
*And I said "baby, it's 3 am, you must be lonely"

Speaking of "sanity songs"...Al loves music.  I'm sure most babies enjoy music, but I think his joy exceeds what I would consider "typical".  He can go from full meltdown to laughing or sleeping just by hearing one of his favorite songs.  It soothes and/or energizes him.  And since I love to sing, rap, hum, or just listen to music, there is no shortage in our house.

Smiles and laughter cover a multitude of sins.  As Al's personality starts emerging, the worst tasks seem almost enjoyable.  I find myself looking forward to the next dirty diaper...because Al LOVES it.  He smiles, laughs, and kisses me* for a job well done.
*Kiss = putting my cheek against his mouth calling it a kiss...po-tato, po-tAHto

It's hard work having a baby.  I don't recommend it to everyone I know.  Really, I don't.  But it works for Mark and me.  Al completes our family (for now), and we LOVE being around this little guy!

Happy 6 months, Little Al!

3 Months In (plus a little)!

Well, we survived what some people refer to as the "4th Trimester."  What have we learned from our first 3 months as parents?

Answer: Al has spoiled us and we may never have another baby...seriously.  Mark and I realize that we deserve ZERO praise for this, and that it is simply a blessing luck (I say "luck", because what child isn't a "blessing"?).  But, Al is so chill!  He has made our transition from "irresponsible twenty-somethings" to "parents" much easier, and we are so thankful.

A little about Al:

• Tummy time = unhappy time.  Al doesn't mind being on his stomach, but don't ask him to do anything but suck on his hand while he's there.  He is SLOWLY gaining head/neck control, but I have no idea what his arms and chest can do.  It worries me a tad, especially when I read all of the "where your baby should be at 3 months" type articles.  But I know it's not something to obsess about.  He'll catch-up!

• He LOVES sucking on his thumb/fingers/hand.  The more, the better

• He'll sleep all night...if he's swaddled.  Mark and I tried to put him to sleep without the swaddle and it was a disaster.  So, we'll keep it up as long as it works.
• Already bonding with cousin James

• While he's "chill" all the time, he reserves his smiles for when he's really happy, usually when he's with his grandma or dad (I'm only a tad bitter)

Well, the posts are few and far between because I can't stand to be on the computer when I'm home from work.  Must get my hands on this little guy!

So Excited!

I have SO much I want to blog about (little Al, books I've read, a fun birthday), but right now I'm too excited about my upcoming weekend.  A weekend that will look a little like this:

So excited to celebrate one of my faves!

Working Mother

The first week back at work was a breeze for me.  (Well, starting with day two...the first day had it's necessary adjustments.)  Once I figured out how to budget my time so that I could continue breastfeeding/pumping and still get all of my work done, I was set.  People kept asking how I was doing and I TRULY didn't understand why.

For those of you judging me, let me tell you this: taking care of an infant is work.  Hard work!  For me, it was more physically and emotionally demanding than my current job.  That doesn't mean I didn't love every minute of my maternity leave; it just means that going back to work seemed - well, I'll just say it - easier.  Oh, and I forgot to add this tiny detail about my first week back: Al was with my mom and dad all week.

Ok, you caught me...that is not a tiny detail.  Week one was a breeze because Al was with two people I trust 100%.  People he knows.  Grandparents he loves.  My mom who sends me at least 3 pictures of him a day.  BREEZE.  And I actually thought, "I've got this!"

Fast forward to week two, and Al's first week at day care: significant decline in my productivity at work, tears (Al's tears), phone calls and emails to other day-cares, tears (Mark's tears), constant worry, and tears (my tears).  So this is why people kept asking if I'm ok.

I'm working on being ok.  I like my job and know I would miss it if I stayed at home...because I did.  But, then there's the guilt.  Oh, the guilt.  Was Al held today?  Did that sick baby touch him?  Does he know how much I love him when I'm able to leave him for 9ish hours?  Even the days he's with my mom are hard. Especially when I miss seeing him be this adorable:

(Thanks to technology, I don't have to miss it altogether)

This LINK helped me with the transition, and reminded me that there are other moms out there doing the same thing...often with less support.  So, I'm accepting the good of being a "working mom" with the bad.  And I know deep down, "I've got this!"

The First Month

The first month with Al has filled me with joy, self-doubt, fatigue, love, confusion, and confidence.  We are SLOWLY falling into patterns that suit all three of us (at least until I go back to work).  At this point, I can usually soothe Al when he's crying, but find it more difficult to let him "cry it out" when needed.   It's hard - I underestimated how hard it would be - but I love it.

The first few days I was enamored with Mark and Al.  Truly, they were both perfect.  Since then, we've each hit our "bumps."  Luckily, Mark can tell when I'm at my breaking point and comes to the rescue...and I try to do the same with him.  Have we exchanged a few ugly words?  Sure, but we're working on underlying issues and practicing the art of forgiveness (Mark is good at this, as I can say some pretty mean things during tense moments).

Levon has adjusted well, as I assumed he would.  He's mostly just curious and smells Al as much as possible.  He has been getting less attention, but he's never required a lot and enjoys doing his own thing.  If anything, I think this will work in his favor since we will probably put up a fence...finally.

Living in the same city as our families has been amazing.  Mark's mom helped me clean the house one day (though, you wouldn't be able to tell now) and kept Al so Mark and I could go to Bree's shower.
My mom comes over most days to visit or let me out of the house.  It's amazing!  She LOVES Al, and I'm pretty sure she's already his favorite person.

I've also been blessed by some great friends, who have made us dinner, brought gifts, and visited Al and me numerous times.  It's hard spending most of your day meeting the demands of someone else, who can't speak.  But my friends have helped me stay positive and have encouraged me to get out of the house some.  And, they are even thinking about us when we aren't with them.

Some people ask how I spend most of my days right now.  I'd say that this picture is a pretty accurate portrayal:

But we've also been to see both grandparents, Brookwood Mall, Panera, Krispy Kreme, and numerous walks.

I only have 2 1/2 weeks left of my maternity leave, and I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with this guy:

Mark Allan Pridgen, Jr.

On December 22 around 3:45pm, Mark and I were getting ready to brave the holiday crowds at the Summit to look for a new bed at Pottery Barn.  I went to the restroom before we left, and pop!  Was that my water?  I had "false alarms" before, but this had to be the real thing.  I called my doctor and she told me to go ahead and come in.  I snuck in a quick shower and sent Mark to the grocery store - I had heard that you can't eat before delivery and might not be able to find anything decent for hours after either.

We calmly packed our bags and I got in the car while Mark took our dog, Levon, on a quick walk.  Then...chaos - Mark returned from their outing with an empty leash and said "This is Bad."  Yep, Levon wrapped himself around a tree and wiggled out of his collar.  Bad timing, Levon.  Luckily, I was able to head-off Levon in the car while Mark chased him on foot...only losing about 15 minutes.

Once we got to the hospital, I had a pretty "by the book" delivery, so there's no need for details.  Just this beautiful face staring at me at 3:19am on December 23:

8lbs & 2ozs of perfection!  Welcome to the world, Mark Allan "Al" Pridgen, Jr.

Waiting is the hardest part...

I've decide that doctors should not use words like "full term."  At 37 weeks, I finally feel 100% justified in my uncomfortable-ness.  Which means: my sense of decency has gone out the door.  I feel like I should be able to get away with murder...or at least this:

Yes, sadly this is me at work.  In a corporate office.  Where men wear suits and ties and women are often seen in dresses.  Worse than that, I'm not even embarrassed.

This week I went to the doctor and found out some amazing news...baby Pridgen is head down and weighs (give or take) 6lb 13oz.  He is pretty much ready.  Thank goodness!  And I definitely look like I'm about to pop:

I love this picture!  Mark's coworkers had a lunch shower for us last week at the art museum.  Bonus: my friend, Bree's, dad works there.  He snapped my picture to send to Bree, then took me on a personal tour of the Normal Rockwell exhibit after my lunch.  

I'm almost where I want to be at work (so no one gets left with my unfinished projects).  And the nursery is complete, minus wall decor.  We lack a baby bath tub, but should have all the other necessities.  Hear that, baby Al?  It's time!